Ups and Downs
Disclaimer: This is going to be a very transparent post....
Farming has its ups and downs. Some years it is a lot of ups, some a lot of downs, and mostly a happy medium of the two. Although the years with more ups than downs are preferred, it doesn't always work out that way.
Monday (Aug 10) was a very hard day for me. One of our daughter's cats that she got for a birthday present was killed in a trap. I think I am taking it harder than our daughter. In fact, I know I am. I am the one who found the cat, and it triggered a waterfall of emotion that I have had walled up for a few months now. I have maintained a level of "even keel", getting by, "surival mode", day-to-day living for so long now, that it all just broke free. I knew I couldn't store up all the emotion forever, and I guess I am glad it broke free. Our lives have had so many changes in the past few months, and I have just been doing what I needed to do to get by. I know, it was a cat, and in the grand scheme of things, probably a very tiny piece of the big picture. It doesn't leave me without asking "why?" and wishing that it didn't happen. But, we still have two barn kittens and I hope that they live a LONG time.
After the rain Monday night, God gave us a beautiful rainbow. It stretched over our whole farm. I couldn't help but think of God's promises when I seen the rainbow and it was a good reminder that God has a good plan..... even though I don't always understand how all the pieces fit together.